Toddlers CAN be great!

Hi. Hello. Remember me?! I'm The Mother. The one who used to post frequently on this blog. The one who used to be funny and tell stories about the crazy life of a mother. I'm still here. Sometimes. For the most part, I'm still reading all those other blogs that I love to read. And sometimes....just sometimes, I actually comment on them. And every now and then, I actually get around to putting some energy into this here blog. (But it's just a little bit of energy, so don't expect anything great!)

Anyway, I'm sure you all are sick and tired of hearing about how I'm sick and tired. I figure I've only got about 3-4 more weeks of that (which means you may only have to read about 2 more posts about it all, before this pregnancy starts to get really interesting)! I'm still chugging on with life. I actually did the dishes this morning! (Honey, would you PLEASE rinse out your Tupperware when you get home. I'm afraid I won't be able to do the dishes anymore if you don't!) So...I've actually lost like 2 pounds so far. Last night I had one of my pregnant woman crazy moments. I asked the husband if he ever thought that I was faking being sick. He said....very sheepishly...that yes, he had wondered. Then, I reminded him that I can rarely finish the food on my plate anymore, and THAT is VERY out of character for me. He acknowledged that I was right, and that I probably don't fake being sick (which, for the record, I haven't...yet...but if it helps in 3-4 weeks to keep it up, I may!) Then he asked me if he could do anything for me. Wonderful, sweet man!

Bug, too, has been a wonderful and sweet man boy! Whenever I find myself bawling my eyes out and whining about how I can't go on in this tortured state, Bug is by my side, rubbing my arm and giving me the sweetest little toddler eyes in the whole world. He is TOTALLY going to be by my side when I go into labor! I know he will fantastic labor support. (And if I find I can't stand him at the time, my mom will be there to take him away, 'cause moms are great, too!) Oh, Bug also learned how to open doors. This is actually a great thing, at least for now, because he hasn't used his talent for ill yet! It means in the morning, he can get down and out of bed and go into the living room to play. And I get to stay in bed until I hear him destroying something! It's a wonderful life!

Can't a girl get a nap?

Since the vomiting episode, life hasn't gotten much easier. Bug is...better. Of course, I'm not sure if that is the best way to describe it. He did have diarrhea for a couple days after the upchucking. And we ran out of laundry. And I was too tired to do it. THAT day, the day the earth pretty much imploded on itself, I was the one that was really sick. And not just "I'm pregnant and feel crummy all the time" sick. It was way worse.

I began the day at 4:45am. I got up and went to the bathroom to empty my stomach contents into our toilet. It was the first time this pregnancy. Then, I went back to sleep. Only to get up a little after 6am. Apparently, someone hit the repeat button, and I was in the bathroom again. Before I knew it, we were all up for the day.

I was tired. My stomach was cramping. And I didn't want to eat anything. I knew that pregnancy sickies can be made to go away (for at least a short amount of time) by eating. I tried to eat. I got down a banana. Then I had to change a diaper. A really bad diaper. And I had to change the little pants that kept that bad diaper from getting all over my carpet.

The I ate one cracker, changed another bad diaper and fished around for the only clean pair of pants for Bug. I couldn't find the pants. I looked around the house. I saw a massively destroyed living room, a kitchen piled high with stinky and dirty dishes, dirty laundry smeared with crusty poop and vomit overflowing from the hamper....and I thought about how tired and horrible I felt....then I lost it. I cried and cried.

I didn't know what to do, so I called the husband and bawled to him about how miserable I was and I begged him to come home. So, he did.

While he was on his way home, I ate one baby carrot, and crawled into bed with Bug. We were napping when he arrived. When we woke up, the dishes were done, the living room was clean, the laundry was being done. My husband is obviously a super human, one of a kind, hunk of a hero! Gosh, I love that man! He even went and got me a roast beef sandwich...even though I was only able to take three bites.

Since that day, I have been feeling better. I still feel like crap, but it's the better kind. The normal pregnant kind. I'm a little bit better at handling all the messes. For instance, I haven't cried once since that day, even though every time I go to take a nap, Bug refuses to join me and instead causes mischief around the house. Mischief like emptying bags of cereal or brown sugar onto the kitchen floor. And I was actually able to laugh when Bug stacked three -glass- cups on top of each other at my parents' house.

Toddlers sure are full of energy. It doesn't always make a good match with a mother who is so un-full of energy it is laughable! But, today, we sat down together and starting watching Tarzan, and I had tears of joy and love come to my eyes. I was reminded that even though things are really difficult right now, I love my family. I love this little boy that I helped to create. And I love my husband who works to hard for us. And I'm so excited for the little baby that will be joining us.

Now, if only I could get a nap!

I've been attacked!

I have been attacked by the pregnancy crummies. Or, just the first trimester crummies, I guess. Either way, I feel crummy. Almost to the point that I have no energy or desire to do anything (other than sleep, of course.) I think I am more exhausted than I would normally be, because I am still nursing Bug. And on top of that, I feel nauseous 24/7, so I'm probably not eating as well as I should be. How can I eat well if nothing sounds good!?! I just want to keep from throwing up whatever I get down (which I have been successful with so far).

And, speaking of throwing up....Bug did. All over me. And himself. AT A LA LECHE LEAGUE MEETING. That I didn't drive to by myself.

So, I changed his clothes, and cleaned up the both of us as best as I could. But I still smelled it. And I sat through the meeting (my ride was the leader of the group, so I couldn't exactly beg her to take me home), feeling very nauseous with the smell of sick in my nose. Then, when the meeting was nearly over, But threw up again. Luckily, this time it was only breast milk. But I couldn't change him into clean clothes (because I had already put him in his spare outfit.) I called the hubby, who was finally able to come and get me. Hallelujah!

I felt horrible. There is nothing worse than sitting in a room full of mothers with young children, with a kid that keeps vomiting. I just hope Bug didn't infect all those babies with whatever he has. (Or had...I can't decide it he is over it yet.)

But, I will tell you what...it is making me sick just thinking about it. Ugh...I can't wait until I get to the second trimester and this all goes away! And I am SOOOOO SORRY to all those women who deal with pregnancy nausea through the whole 9 months!

Hope during Infertility

What better time during the year to be filled with hope and gratitude than Christmas!? (Perhaps, Easter?) However, I have been filled with hope, indeed!

I know a post about infertility right after a pregnancy announcement may seem a little insensitive, but I've done a lot of thinking about my experience with infertility. It is my sincere hope that other women find strength in their trials.

For months and months, I wanted to get pregnant. But, because I was breastfeeding Bug, my cycles hadn't returned yet. And consequently, my fertility hadn't returned yet. Then, my body started showing signs of returning fertility. Signs...but not reality. Every time my body began another cycle, I was filled with painful emotion. The flowing blood of menstruation is a physical cleanse. The body dumps the old to make room to try again. A clean slate. Another month to temp and chart and record and plan. Another month for hopes to rise. Yet, every time my body would cleanse itself, my spirit was sullied with grief, anger, jealousy and fear.

I always trusted my body, until it didn't do what I wanted it to do. Or what I though it should do. My body had always done what I wanted it to do, before! Finally, I realized that I had a defect. For all I knew, my body could have been aborting a possible baby every cycle. But that was just it, my body didn't understand to keep it, and it would begin the cleansing process before it even knew whether or not it was necessary.

Day and night, I would suckle my needy toddler, with tears in my eyes. Weaning him could be the answer. But I couldn't do it. I knew he needed to nurse. Would it be right to take something away from the child I have to -maybe- get a child I want? *Note: I still have not weaned Bug. In several months, I will probably do a post on nursing during pregnancy.

That child I already have been blessed with brought other questions forward as well. If I already have a young child, did I have a right to mourn my infertility? Did I have a right to claim infertility? I had been wanting to get pregnant for a whole year! By medical standards, I was infertile. Did breastfeeding change that? Maybe. But it didn't change my desires.

I know that there are probably women that are jealous of me and my one child. And I was jealous of women who are expecting or already have two. Did my one child make my sadness any easier? To a woman who strongly desires a(nother) child, but cannot get pregnant, I think there is little solace.

Many women experiencing "true" infertility may not appreciate the difficulty of the situation I was in, just as I could not fully appreciate their difficulties. But, if I am able to get one point across, I wish it to be known that infertility of ANY kind or duration, is difficult if a woman truly desires to get pregnant.

So, every time I began another cycle, I would swallow my pride. Through my grief, anger, jealousy and fear, I would pray for strength, faith, patience, health and hope.

And sometimes, even if it doesn't seem like it, we have a loving Heavenly Father who is watching over us. He knows our desires. He knows our struggles. And He knows the best way to bless us, and the right time to bless us. In hindsight, our struggles always look easier than what they really were. Heavenly Father knows how difficult things are for us. But if we remember Him always, He will bless us in the most unexpected and marvelous ways!

Top Ten Reasons Why....

So, I wrote the best post over a MONTH ago. I had this post all planned out prematurely, because I thought it would be really cute. But what I conceived would be the situation, didn't really fit the situation. I have re-written the post completely on the sperm of the moment. And I have impregnated it with a lot more hilarity than I had originally planned. In fact, I may be pushing it a little bit!

May I present to you the Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Write A Blog Post About Something That Hasn't Happened Yet. (I know, it's a mouthful of a Top Ten list!)

10. You are likely to get the date wrong.

9. It hasn't happened...yet.

8. All the funny things you wrote in the post actually had nothing (kind of) to do with the topic of the post.

7. It hasn't happened...yet.

6. No matter how great the post is, it doesn't matter unless you can see the future.

5. It hasn't happened...yet.

4. It might make you cry when you realize it hasn't happened yet.

3. It hasn't happened...yet.

2. You would feel like an idiot if you went ahead and posted it, even though it hadn't happened yet.

And the Number 1 Reason Why.....(I'm not going to type the whole thing out. Honestly, it's just ridiculous!) ....is: It is always better to write a post about something AFTER it has happened!

But wait, you weren't expecting that to be the end of this post, were you?? You all want to know what I had developed in that other post, don't you??

Well, my old post was the Top Ten Reasons Why I Might Be Pregnant.  But all those reasons (as I was getting really excited) ended up being just plain, old PMS. This month, however, there were no signs. (Ok, there were signs, but I would have to do a whole post about FAM before I could share them!) The whole post I had formulated, the one that I thought would be so adorable to make a big announcement, didn't fit when it actually came time for that big announcement!

So, without further ado, I am pleased to announce that I am gestating a speck! Soon it will be more than a speck. Soon, as in around September, I will have baby number two! I couldn't be more pleased!


Here is my (prematurely written/consequently edited) post on hope during infertility.

Oh, Christmas Tree...and other wintry stuff

Christmastime with a toddler in the house is interesting, to say the least. Last year, Bug was just crawling. We put our little 4' tree on a table and he couldn't reach it. No problem-o. THIS year, however, Bug is a running, jumping, climbing, maniac of a daredevil. The tree is still on that table, but raising it a couple feet really hasn't done much. Our poor tree is feeling quite naked from the waist down! (And all the ornaments are hidden throughout the house in Bug's multiple secret hidey holes!) Thankfully, I remembered to put all the delicate ornaments on top of the tree. That should keep them safe...at least until Bug pulls the whole tree over. He hasn't done that yet, but I wouldn't put it past him.

Speaking of pulling things over, our stockings hanging from our mantle are apparently a hazard to curious toddlers. But, it only takes pulling a heavy stocking hook down on you one time before you learn that it hurts and you don't want to do that anymore.

Under the mantle, is a fireplace (what else would there be?). Oh, the fireplace. Practically since we've moved into this place, we have had the fireplace tied shut. Naturally, I didn't think to do that until after I had to pull a sooty toddler out of it before church one Sunday morning...and try to clean off his white shirt and black pants and pale skin...while we were already running late. You know, that's a funny thing about soot. It looks black on white, and grey on black. You just can't win when you crawl into a fireplace!

But that isn't the only bad thing about the fireplace. Now that it is getting cold, we have been building attempting to build fires at night. Bug always wants to help. He gets into the wood. He gets into the tinder. He gets into the kindling. He gets into the lint (which, by the way, hasn't really been helping to get a fire going...thanks a lot Girls Camp!). He plays with the fireplace tool set. Luckily, I haven't caught him running around the house with the stoker yet!

Oh, that fireplace. My husband is an Eagle Scout. And I have had my fair share of scouting education. But still! We can't get a fire going in that stinkin' fireplace. We usually get a good 5 minutes of teasing before the whole thing fizzles out on us.
[Update: Yes, the flue was open when we were building the fire. We just didn't have good, seasoned wood. Once we got better wood, we were able to create a lovely fire!]

No matter how much I love having a blanket of snow (we haven't had one yet), singing Christmas music (I have a sore throat), a cup of warm hot cocoa (are we out of milk?), and a crackling fire (or smoldering pile of ash)...can't it just be Spring again?

Crock Pot Lament

I really think it is still way too early in my marriage for me to be replacing all of my kitchen appliances. But for some reason, they seem to all be breaking. One thing I know, it sure as heck isn't MY fault they are all breaking!

Our hand mixer wobbles, screetches and screams when we turn it on. Of course, that doesn't keep me from using it when I need it, but I prefer to turn it off as soon as possible. The reason: "I was creaming butter and sugar to make cookies." -the Husband

I suspect that the butter was frozen. Really, really frozen.

Ok, so I haven't had to replace the mixer (yet) and there is only one other thing: the Crock Pot. But it still feels like all of my kitchen appliances!!!

But let us get to the reason for this post. The Crock Pot. Mom's best friend and tool in the kitchen. All you have to do is dump your whole freezer into the pot and you will have a delicious meal in 6-8 hours. It never burns. The meat is always tender. The veggies are always perfect. You don't have to stir. It never dries out. Seriously, I'm conviced I could put something in the Crock Pot and come back to it a month later and it would still be delectable. THAT is how much I love my Crock Pot.

But beware of toddlers in the kitchen and cords that are hanging within reach. (I bet I don't even have to finish this story!) Oh yes, Bug pulled the cord of my Crock Pot. He used his amazing strenth and brought down the whole thing. LUCKILY, it was empty. And the lid wasn't on it. And the ceramic pot didn't break. And it didn't crush my kid. Apparently, the actual pot was cushioned in the landing by putting all the weight into the electronic doodad that makes the whole thing work. The doodad doesn't make the thing work anymore. Even my electronically savvy husband was unconvinced that he would be able to fix it, even with his soldering gun and...goggles.

So, I said a sad farewell to my old Crock Pot. I went a couple of weeks without one before I died. Er...well...not really. But it didn't take long before I convinced the hubby that we HAD to buy another one. And another one we did buy! It's pretty cool (literally, it has cool touch sides)!

I couldn't be happier! And we're having a Crock Pot dinner tonight!