When I was in elementary school, I felt a strong connection to the planet Venus. I wasn't into astronomy. I didn't gaze up into the sky on clear nights. I really wasn't interested in planets. I wanted to be an alien. I wanted to be different. I wanted to have purple skin. And I wanted to be from Venus. The planet just sounded cool. It was supposed to be a place where nobody could live. Full of noxious gases. Constantly hot. Totally uninhabitable. But, I really wanted to be from Venus. And no other planet would do.
Years later, I can finally see the connection. I understand that desire. The name Venus, the connotation, the connections, the true meaning. When I was a kid, I wanted to be from Venus to have purple skin. But now, it is so much more. I don't want to be from Venus. I want to be recognized as being my own kind of Venus. Not the planet. But the goddess. I want to be every goddess that is praised for being a woman.
So now, I am Venus. Roman goddess of love, beauty and fertility.
And I am Hathor. Egyptian goddess of feminine love, motherhood and joy.
I am Turan. Etruscan goddess of love and vitality.
And I am Aphrodite. Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexuality.
I am Artemis. Hera. Epona. Persephone. Ishtar. Ba'alat Gebal. Juno. Frigg. Parvati. And Eve.
I love these ancient feminine ideas. These goddesses were full of love, beauty, happiness. And above all, they were mothers. They were worshiped for their ability to conceive and bear children. To suckle children at their breasts. They were depicted with full, round bodies. Soft. Curvy. It is the symbol of motherhood. Of being a woman. Of being a lover. It is beauty. I want to inspire my husband. I want to nourish my children. I want to be that. I want to be praised for being that.
I want to be a goddess.