Friday, August 29, 2008

Curds and Whoa...HEY!

Some babies spit up a lot, some almost never. Bug is not, and never was, much of a spitter. That means it always surprises me when he does spit up. Sometimes it comes as more of a surprise than other times.

Bug loves being held up in the air. It makes him smile and grunt with delight. For some reason, Bug hasn't quite mastered -squealing- with delight...or even giggling, for that matter. Although he did start yelling (at a reasonable decibel) just recently.

Anyway, one day I was laying on the floor, holding the cute, little guy up over me. After a couple of seconds up in the air, I would bring Bug back down to my chest. I would hold his arms just under his own chest to help him prop himself up, as he was still getting used to stabling his head upright on his own. This position put his cute face just inches from my own, and I would give him kisses and coos galore, before raising him back up into the air. On one particular "down time" moment, I had my mouth wide open in a smile of encouragement for my baby. Before I even knew what was really happening, I had a mouth full of spit up, warm and curdled. I shut my mouth and sat up right. Holding onto Bug still, I spit the load into my palm. My husband wasn't paying too much attention to my little play time with Bug, but he managed to laugh more than necessary when I sat up with lovely, white goo running down my chin. Luckily, lovingly, he handed me a burp rag, and I was able to clean myself up. I'm pretty sure the first thing he asked was "How does that taste?" or something to that effect. To which my reply was "Breast milk and bile." Once again, I am ever grateful that my baby is breastfed. I can't imagine what that would have been like with formula! Ugh, please excuse me while I go brush my teeth!

Please Research: Circumcision

There are many different issues that parents should research before they make certain decisions about raising their children. We, as parents, must realize that our choices will have a profound impact on our children's lives.

The topic of this post is circumcision. This subject is a very delicate one, because the choice for many is religious. I do not intend any offense to those religions that practice circumcision. However, I must say that I do not agree with it for our time.

Let me explain my own religious point of view on the matter. First off, I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS, aka Mormon). I am not sure of any stance the LDS church may take on circumcision, although I believe the church sees it as a personal choice to be agreed upon by the parents. I do know, that the LDS church does not require circumcision as a religious act. This is because circumcision is part of the Mosaic Law. During the time of Moses, circumcision was required to show dedication to God and an acceptance of the Abrahamic covenant. In general, Christians no longer practice the Law of Moses, which was deemed fulfilled after the sacrifice of Christ. This makes circumcision no longer necessary, as dedication is shown in other ways.

Outside of religion, circumcision is done purely for cosmetic purposes. There is disputed research done on circumcision for medical purposes, with no sound evidence. I ask that all parents research this topic and make a fully educated decision as to what is the best route for your son. Is circumcision really needed? Or should your son remain intact?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Love that Play Gym!

A friend from church bought me (or bought Bug, rather) a Gymini play mat as a gift when I had my baby shower. I didn't realize until just about a month ago how daggone expensive those things mom didn't even spend that much money on me!!! Ok, well, maybe mom did spend more than that, but you get my point.

Anyway, Bug has loved the thing since the day he was born! I would lay him down on it to give my arms a rest and he would coo away, even before he could smile! He loves it still, even though he would prefer to be in my arms! Here are some of the funny things he does, or I can help him to do with his play gym:
1. If the mirror that is attached to the gym is behind his head, he will crane his little neck back, just so he can see himself. (*Your so vain, you probably think this post is about you!*)
2. Spin in circles...clockwise. I will Bug down with his head up at one end, and just a couple minutes later, his head is where his feet were. And he always moves clockwise...maybe that means he will always be on time!?!
3. Kick a rattle that I attached, and then try to grab it between his feet. He seriously will grab the rattle between his feet, not his toes, his two little feet. It's amazing!
4. Turn on the music. He loves to stretch out and show me how tall he is getting anyway, but when he gets the music to turn on at the same that is an accomplishment!
5. TRY to roll over. He hasn't quite gotten the whole rolling over thing down yet, but -MAN ALIVE!- he tries so hard! He will roll to his side, and then bury his face into the ground, trying to get his body to follow. It's dang cute, but he may just suffocate himself one of these days if he isn't careful!
6. Spit up. So, Bug was never much of a spitter (I thank my Heavenly Father for that blessing often!). However, it seems that as soon as he is on his little mat, he decides it's ok to spit up! Lovely.
7. Grab at the hanging toys, hold and shake them, then cry 'cause he can't figure out how to let go! It's really pretty cute, until he gets really mad.
8. Stand up, with a limited amount of Mommy's help, by holding onto the arches. He loves to stand, now that he knows he can, he never wants to sit (which makes it a pain to put him in the car seat, "Would you just bend your legs, PLEASE!?!?!?!"). So, I stand him up, put his hands on the arches and hold the mat on the other side to keep him from falling backwards with the mat coming down on top of him. I generally don't even have to touch him, unless he decides to let go with one hand. Then he wobbles around with one hand in the air, like he's in his own version of baby rodeo, before he falls over on himself.

Oh, how wonderful it is to have something so entertaining for the little guy. Although he is probably just as satisfied trying to show me how he can fit his whole fist into his mouth!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I love watching my little guy when he gets tired. Well, sometimes. He does seem to get pretty cranky, and he puts up a good fight. But, all the same, those cute little yawns make me smile. My brother-in-law has told me that when Bug yawns, that he looks like the mouse from the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Honestly, he does...and he magically becomes so irresistible that I just have to give him a big cuddle hug!

Bug has a distinct, higher-than-normal pitched cry that indicates he is tired. Tired, but totally unwilling to cave into that wonderful sleep. It is easiest for me to get him to sleep by nursing him, but sometimes he doesn't know if he really wants to nurse or not. This usually ends up with me switching back and forth from nursing to pacifier until he makes up his mind...and then he normally falls right asleep. Sadly, I trick him into sleep when he may not REALLY need it, just so I can sit and read or get some other things done (like showering). He does tend to be a restless sleeper though. He rubs his hands all over his face, and arches his back, and wiggles even though he isn't really awake. When he starts this act, I quickly try to keep him from poking his eyes out, because that tends to wake him up from his blissful, little nap!

Eventually, he does have to wake up. Usually, he chooses to do this at the most inconvenient time for when I using the restroom. While he whines for attention like any newly awakened babe, I'm yelling to him, "Just a minute, Bug! Mommy's on the potty!" I always wonder how well our neighbors can hear what goes on in our apartment! Other times, when I'm not doing anything else when Bug wakes up, I love to be with him. He has that aura about him that clearly shows he has just regained consciousness. Maybe a little confused, but satisfied at the same time. He gives me big smiles, and then he usually lets off a big poop sound. No, he's not "smiling" because he's pooping...he really thinks it's funny. What can I say, he's a boy!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Little Stinker

Even through all my crunchy ways, I have not yet been converted to the superior green-ness of cloth diapering. I finally have a washer and dryer in my apartment, so I can't use that excuse any longer. (And, even with my aversion to vaccines, I still buy the vaccine-supporting Pampers, simply because...I think they work best with me and my baby. I am a selfish mother.) Maybe someday I will brave the cloth diapers, but as for now, I deal with throwing away all the baby poop.

For all those mothers who breastfed for any amount of time (past meconium, that is) you know what that poop is like. Incredibly runny, yellow, and "what the heck is he eating that makes those little curds?". There once was a time when I didn't realize I should wait until I heard at least 3 poop squirts before changing Bug. This was a time when all those hormones were making me crazy. Well, I guess that is all the time, so never mind that. Bug had most likely just finished a meal, and he began to fill his most breastfed babies like to do immediately post-meal. I smile and cheerfully place him on a changing mat (I can find no place or point for a changing table in my apartment) to fulfill my duty as mother and change my little guy's bum. I remove diaper, with one squirt size of poop in it, and I am wiping those plump little cheeks when I receive squirt number two...directly into my palm-up, wet-wipe holding hand. Surprisingly, I was able to laugh about it. I got both myself and Bug cleaned up and put a fresh diaper on the baby. Now, I can proudly say I have joined the ranks of surviving mothers who have been pooped on. It is a honor I bear with respect.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Baby, I'm TIRED

I don't know how they do it, but children (small babies in particular) seem to be able to stay awake longer, sleep less, AND have more energy than anyone else. Bug decided the other day that he was going to wake up at 4am, nurse, and then go back to sleep. Wait. I definitely messed that up. That should read, "and then stay awake". Oh yes. That was even the day that I had somewhere to go and things to get done. HE KNOWS, I tell you, he knows! I don't think my son is out to ruin my life...he just thinks it's downright hilarious to push me to the point of complete and udder exhaustion. Because just when I feel like having a complete mental breakdown...from lack of sleep or whatever else he has surprised me with...he either falls asleep or cracks open the biggest smile ever. Who can argue with that!?!?! Oh, how I love that little guy. And my husband wonders why we don't get to "snuggle" as often any more....'cause, "Baby, I'm tired!"

Please Research: Vaccines

This is not really a lamentation of the usual sort. That is, I am not posting this for humor, but as a friendly reminder and encouragement for education. I plan on making a regular "Please Research" post to create an awareness for education in parents.

I would like to encourage ALL parents to do their research on vaccines!!! I will not fill this post with the horrifying things I have learned about the vaccine industry, but I must say that I am completely SHOCKED that parents regularly get their children vaccinated...without questioning or researching their decision at all. Please research all vaccines/meds given to children, including those that are generally given in the hospital when you are too overwhelmed to deny them (i.e., HepB, erythromycin, Vit K). Just for information, Hepatitis B is spread through drug use and sexual promiscuity. Erythromycin is an antibiotic used to treat newborn eye infections (even the nonexistant ones) given to the baby because the mother may have had an active STD during birth. And Vitamin K is given because it is generally believed that infants lack the proper amount of the vitamin, and it is needed for proper blood clotting (the baby most likely doesn't need this unless being circumcised...which will be the topic of a future "Please Research" post.)

My son is a wonderfully healthy baby and has not received any vaccines. I don't plan on him getting them any time soon, if at all.

Once again, parents, PLEASE RESEARCH!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Warm and Wet

All those who shower with their babies know that it can both be easier and harder at the same time. Easier, because you know you are going to get soaked anyway, might as well strip down and shower. Harder...well, here's just one example of how it's harder: I had just gotten Bug and myself ready to step into the shower when he starts crying and complaining of severe hunger ("Didn't I just feed you 10 minutes ago!?!"). So, I do what any good mother would do, I sit down on the closest chair, aka The Toilet, and nurse my naked son. My husband walks in and laughs at me, while I try to explain that I am NOT using the toilet, I'm just sitting here nursing. I give an exasperated sigh as he gives me a grin that says "He just HAD to eat, huh?" Hubby knows I'm a sucker and will nurse at the slightest little whine Bug gives me. And just as I am joking to my hubby that Bug will probably pee on me, I find myself warm and wet. Hey! I haven't even turned the shower on yet. I quickly jump into the tub to save the bathroom floor from a serious need of mopping. I finish up nursing, covered in pee, and then proceed to shower myself and the little tinkler. At least he didn't poop on me.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Postpartum Hair Loss

My son is now 3 months old. For the past several weeks, I have been pulling out literally handfuls of hair. Well, I'm not really PULLING them out, I just run my hands through my hair and all the hairs just come right along. It is probably the most distressing thing I have had to deal with postpartum (PP). Even more distressing than having to use a nipple shield to get my baby to nurse (darn inverted nipples)! When I wake up in the morning, it is now routine to collect the hair off of my pillow, bed, husband, baby, self...and that dang nipple shield. It seems almost humorous to me now, typing about it. But, then I think of the tears that I have shed, while sincerely believing that if this keeps up for the next 6-9 months, I will most certainly go bald. I have researched it all...of course, it is normal to lose about 200 hairs a day PP. 200, eh? Now, I'm really not counting, but I just have a hunch that I'm losing more than that. How do I get it to stop? My only idea is to get pregnant again, so I will once again have wonderfully luscious hair. Which leads me to my next problem...How do I get myself to ovulate while breastfeeding?

Oh, Pump!

When is the best time to pump? While nursing the baby at the same time, of course! Babe on one side, pump on the other. I hate pumping! I would rather just nurse my baby. But, my sanity (or is it my husband?) requires time away from mothering, at least in small doses. Unfortunately, small doses still necessitate at least 4oz. of breast milk. And in Bug's case, more like 8oz. Cute lil' bugger already eats like a man! I must be bad at pumping...or my pump is bad at pumping...because it takes FOREVER to pump 4oz. And, because I hate pumping so much, I want to limit my sessions to only one or two before the milk is needed. That means I have to pump FOREVER a day or two before my evening out with hubby. Seriously, I am the last person you will find with a "breast milk bank" in their freezer!

This weekend is my anniversary weekend. Yes, yes, thanks for the congrats. And, you guessed it, I need to pump. So, I get out my pump, hook it all up. I even get out an extension cord, so I can sit comfortably on the couch! That bright orange, heavy duty extension cord also helps me feel like I'm really working looks just like the cord my dad would use on site when he was building houses! Anyway, back to the couch. I have Bug there hooked on, and I quickly get the pump on the other side before I have a letdown. Success! Hurrah! Joy! I feel like a prize dairy cow issuing liquid gold! And then Bug pulls off to find out what that noise is (my pump whirring away on the next boob over)...darn curiosity of a 3 month old boy. Did I mention I JUST had a letdown. Milk is spraying all over my poor son, and I am trying to get him re-latched on. In the meantime, I have let go of the pump, the seal breaks and loses suction, and all my precious letdown milk is going to waste. Now I feel like I just got my water bill after unsuccessfully trying to fix a leaky faucet. BUT, I will prevail. I get both baby and pump back where they belong and I'm going again. Sitting comfortably on the couch is a joke. I am completely uncomfortable...although I'm still on the couch. I have baby on one arm, the other hand is holding the pump to my breast, and I'm leaning forward just enough to keep the milk from collecting in the top part of the pump. And I'm trying to keep Bug from kicking the pump out of my grip. I hold this position for half an hour. FINALLY, I have close enough to 4oz. that I'm satisfied...and a sleeping baby. That's what I call success.

Introduction to Lamentations

Update, July 2013: I started this blog when my baby #1 was only a couple months old. I've been informed that it is time to update my introduction (5 years later, with baby #3 at a couple months old). Back then I thought I wouldn't have time to keep a proper journal (boy was I right...and now I don't even have time to keep a proper blog!), and I figured I had plenty of friends and family that would enjoy commiserating with my mom experiences (boy was I right on that, too).

The Lamentations are still my mini stories. They are my life. The good, bad, ugly...or, more than anything, the messy. Most days I still love being a mother. I love laughing with my kids, and smothering them with hugs and kisses. But the pendulum swings both ways, and some of my days are incredibly dark and lonely. That's part of life. And this blog. This is where I laugh, cry, learn, teach. This is where I have shared my most joyful and powerful life experiences, and also where I have held hands with every other mother suffering with depression.

I'd like to think that I am getting to be that seasoned mother of many that I predicted 5 years ago. My stories have definitely multiplied, along with the number of family members I have in my house. But motherhood is a lifelong thing, and I'm still at the front end of it all. This blog is where life gets real, and I hope all that read the stories here can appreciate them. I am glad to have anyone sitting here in my virtual house, sharing chocolate and complaining about being a mother and a the most humorous way possible, of course!

-The Mother

(Original blog intro, 2008): Hello, and Welcome! I would like to explain one thing about this blog that is very important. I love being a mother! This blog is completely true, with the exception of my own artistic license and exaggerations. However, it is also meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Please do not misunderstand and believe that I do not enjoy being a mother!

The Lamentations are really just a collection of mini stories, things I have learned, complaints or reflections on being a parent. They are in no particular order. I just write as they come to mind, or shortly after I have experienced them...or when I have time! I will try to keep the posts organized with labels for those who are looking for empathy in a specific area.

To add to this, I am still very young, and I only have one child. Some mothers may ignore the amount of knowledge and experience that can be available from someone such as myself. Someday, I will be a seasoned mother of many. The only differences that will make is that my stories will multiply and, probably, become more humorous. I do not claim to be an expert, nor should any mother! I just enjoy my job, and I very much enjoy creative writing. And that is exactly what this blog is: a celebration of my role as a mother and a lover, manifested through my hobby of creative writing.

Please, enjoy!