Monday, August 16, 2010

Another Photo Update

Here I am at 38 weeks. I know I should be more patient and mentally preparing for a 40+ week pregnancy...but every fiber of my body is wanting this baby to come NOW!!! For one, I haven't even heard this baby's heartbeat yet! (We have requested to not use any ultrasound devices, not even a Doppler, so the heartbeat must be heard through a fetascope.) The Hubs finally got to hear it at our last prenatal. The smile on his face made my heart melt. But at the same time, I was so jealous!!!

Another reason that I can't wait for this baby to come (other than for the cessation of all my aches and pains) is that I want to know what sex this baby is!!! EVERYONE keeps asking, "Do you know what you're having?" Uhm...yeah....a baby. But I don't know if it's a girl baby or a boy baby. I knew at 20 weeks with Bug, that I was having a boy. This time, I have been trying to hard to just go with the flow of pregnancy and ignore the super intense desire to know what I'm having! People ask me how I do it, going through the whole pregnancy without knowing the sex. Honestly, I have no idea. But, there's nothing I can do about it (other than go get an ultrasound, which I'm -not- going to do) so I might as well try not to let it make me crazy!

Yesterday, my sister asked me if I felt like I have been able to bond with this baby pre-birth. Especially in comparison to my pregnancy with Bug. I told her that I might have been a little bit more "bonded" with Bug before he was born, because I -did- hear his heartbeat and I knew he was a boy. (Although, I was calling him a different name up until 36 weeks!)  But, I'm not one of those women who talks, sings and reads to their belly. I do have a hard time seeing my huge belly as being an actual baby. I think I have been more distanced from this particular pregnancy. But I also feel more confident in my abilities to gestate. Before I started feeling this baby move a lot, I often thought the whole pregnancy was something that I have made up in my head. But, I haven't felt like I've needed someone to tell me that I am doing the whole pregnancy thing right.

The good thing about having a baby, though, is that the bonding comes almost instantly when the baby is in your arms!


TopHat said...

One of the reasons we don't find out the sex is that I don't want to sit around imagining a boy/girl and start assigning him/her gender role before I meet him/her. I think I would be already boxing them in imagining a son's baseball games and a daughter's dance class before they are even born.

And if knowing the sex during pregnancy is essential for bonding, then we'd have windows into our bellies. :)

Plus it's fun to announce the sex when they are born! It's like Christmas!

Sara, Nick, and kids said...

i like the pic- you are braver than me!
good luck- i hope the baby comes any day now for ya:)

AFarCryFromNormal said...

So exciting for you!! I can't wait to hear all about it! I am a birth junkie, what can I say. I am sorry I such a silly lurker but I do enjoy swinging by and seeing what's up! BTW, what midwife did you finally settle on or are you going unassisted? You look stunning too! I know it is hard to see that when you feel all achy etc but you loook fabulous!

Pamla Barrett said...

I think a big part of not feeling a "bond" with other babies besides your first is the distraction of the first one. You still have to be Mommy to Benji and that distracts from focusing on new baby. Which can be good and bad. Good that you aren't obsessing over the new one (even though you still do a little) and bad cause you feel distant. I feel more distant from this one than any of the others. And I think it's simply cause I have so many other things to keep track of. Hopefully it also means it will go by more quickly. Cause we all know how much I love...wait not! being prego. :) And you're right. The second you get to see your new baby is the moment you bond. Love you! Good luck and I can't wait to get that phone call saying you had him/her. :)

mimihalley said...

It is a very good thing that the bonding comes almost instantly! And I agree with you about the how it's almost hard to believe that there is a baby inside of me. It seems so crazy—even though I've delivered a baby before! I don't really believe it until I'm holding the baby, but then it's still like "really? that came out of me?" hehe I don't know when I'll get used to it. :) Yay for babies though!!