Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Postpartum Diaries

Dear PP Diary,

I forgot how confused your organs get after delivering a baby. For the first couple of days, mine were asking, "Now....where the heck do we belong???" It felt weird to stand up straight, because my abdominal muscles were (are) so shot. I can feel about two finger widths of separation between the muscles. Too bad I'm such a lazy bum that I probably won't ever do anything to correct that!

I also forgot that around 3 days after the baby is born, your breasts turn into huge, hard lumps of heat and milk. I feel so bad for Gizmo. How on earth do you latch on to a rock? Of course, I should be feeling more sorry for myself...because a bad latch hurts!

Hemorrhoids suck even worse after the delivery. Even worse than peeing on that little skid mark tear. And worse than having a crotch that smells like days old birth, no matter how many times you wash, thanks to the continual flow of lochia.

A couple days after the baby comes, the ecstasy of the birth starts to fade. And the tears threaten to fall. And suddenly everything you husband does (and doesn't do) is annoying.

Meconium diapers are horrible, even without it sticking to the baby's butt. Babies hate diaper changes. Waiting for that umbilical cord stump to fall off is agonizing! Diapering a baby with an umbilical cord stump is pretty close to torture...for both babe and mom.

Love, Mallory


TopHat said...

I could have written every word of this. I was in tears because I thought my hemorrhoids would never go away and my butt would hurt forever. It gets better, I promise.

Melinda said...

Seriously so true. I think every new mom should read this so they can't say, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!" Hoping this goes by fast for you (especially the hemorrhoids...oh the horribleness of hemorrhoids. Do you think its bad when the nurses lift up the blankets and say "WOW. Those are bad hemorroids!" EVER SINGLE NURSE you have for the two days you're there. Yeah, I'm sure its uncomfortable for the NURSE huh?! Sorry about the rant.), that the boobs will get regular, the latch will be good, the poo's will turn into the oh so sweet smelling stuff, and the umbilical cord stump will fall off quick! :)

mimihalley said...

I hated the umbilical cord stump. Boo. Yay for baby though! I'm excited to meet him when you're ready to have friends over. :)

Veronica said...

Calvin's unbilical cord was smelly and just a pain when it came to changing his diaper. We were lucky though it fell off by Day 5!!! It was awesome and made diaper changing much better! I hated going to the bathroom it stung but the wich hazel pads they give out felt SOOO amazing! I had a hard time getting into bed which was really annoying, and when I walked it felt like a watermelon was inbetween my legs!

OHHHH the joys of PP... it's a good thing God helps us forget all this "fun" stuff and we just keep having kids!

Sara, Nick, and kids said...

ecstacy?? is that what it is? good thing i have you here going through the same thing. holy cow.
ok so the first several days home from the hospital i was a freakin machine! i was just go-go-go and totally took care of the kids and was up all night and it didn't bother me a bit. now it is totally catching up with me. i am so tired and i can't do anything! i feel so bad i'm like "andrew don't you want to watch blues clues- again?" it is such a bummer. and my poor husband. i am a mess!

Sara, Nick, and kids said...

o did his cord fall off?
max's fell off yesterday finally. 2 weeks old! lilly's and andrew's came off like the day after we got back from the hospital.