Like most women, when I am pregnant, I have some of the most whacked-out, super-realistic, wake-up-crying-or-in-some-sort-of-distress-or-shock, crazy dreams. When I was pregnant with Bug, I had horrible dreams of hating (and sometimes beating) my wonderful husband for some reason or another. Or I would have dreams of [pick your insects of choice] infesting my skin and bed and everything. Weird. Not good weird. When I finally got tired of waking up in tears, I had the hubs give me a blessing. I was told that my dreams would no longer bother me. And they didn't, but I never really stopped having those strange and disturbing dreams.
This pregnancy is no different. Well, I haven't had a dream where I needed to strangle my husband, but the dreams are just as real. And they are somewhat unsettling. They don't bother me enough that I have woken up bawling, though. And I guess that's a good thing. But there have been some dreams that leave me wondering what the HECK I was dreaming THAT for!? Like...things that would probably have my temple recommend up in flames if I was intentionally thinking them while conscious! Strange and disturbing.
But the dream that DID wake me up with an increased pulse was probably something to laugh about. (Which is why I am putting it on my blog, I guess!) It was a pregnancy dream in the most literal sense. I was largely pregnant. And seeing an OB. (But that isn't what got my pulse up, exactly). What bothered me, was that I told the OB that I didn't want him to use a doppler on me to hear the baby's heartbeat....AND THEN HE STARTED HOOKING STUFF UP TO ME. Of course, dopplers aren't hooked up to you, but it was an intervention that had nothing to do with labor/delivery, that I absolutely didn't want. It took me a minute to realize what he was doing. Then, I freaked out! I ripped all the wires and cords off of my body and I ran away as fast as I could. I yelled and screamed that he couldn't do that to me. But he told me I had no choice.
Talk about disturbing. I feel like it was a subconscious manifestation of my fear of birthing in a hospital. Or maybe giving power to someone else. I'm not really sure. But it bothered me, all the same.