Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Survivor....I think

I'm still alive. Barely. First it was the thrush. No, wait. First, it was Bug becoming a toddler. Then, throw in some teething, then the thrush, maybe a little bit more of the whole toddler thing, and it's been pretty much a natural disaster around here. I just barely regained control of my kitchen. Sure, sure, we got rid of the thrush, and that tiny little tooth broke through. (Though, I'm inclined to think there are more on the way). I just can't do anything about the toddler part.

Hmmm...the toddler part. What do I do about the toddler part? Seriously. What do I do?

Bug throws things. Everything. And pushes heavy things off of tables. This normally wouldn't be a huge problem. But we live on the top floor of an apartment. That means there are people below us. They are probably incredibly annoyed with the thumping of The Complete Sherlock Holmes hitting the floor every stinkin' day. And the thumping of that 5 million pound water and glitter filled "bouncy" ball that grandpa so lovingly gifted to Bug. And the clang-thumping of every pot lid we own being thrown onto the kitchen floor.

Bug hits. He hits my face, even after I continually help him gently stroke my face while cooing "gentle", "soft", and "nice". He hits my head. My arms. My back. He hits my chest when I tell him he has to wait for "nursies". He hits my chest, even when he is getting "nursies".

Bug pinches. This is usually during "nursies". But he has also been known to grab fingerfuls of skin and squeeze as tight as he can. This is usually accompanied by Bug clenching his other fist and straining his whole little body. It's like he can't pinch hard enough.

Bug bites. These bites usually start out of raspberries being blown on exposed skin. Apparently mom and dad are just too dang delicious. He does it when you would least expect it. And, sometimes, he does it when I am expecting it (but can't stop him quickly enough). I think he does it for revenge sometimes. Not that a toddler has much reason to plot a vendetta. Except, of course, when I tell him not to pinch/bite/hit/scratch me.

Bug scratches. Luckily, I can control this part of Bug's violent streak, by cutting his nails short. But, then again, those little claws of death grow really fast. And really, they are claws. Especially because Bug has figured out that the best way to scratch is to hook his little finger and dig into the targeted flesh with as much force as he can muster.

Bug pulls hair. Fistfuls. Mommy's head. Daddy's chest. Mommy's head. Daddy's leg. Mommy's head. And he shrieks with delight if I punish him. I'm beginning to think my son has an intense need for violence.

I truly don't know how to handle my crazy, maniacal, sadistic son. I've tried everything I can think of to get him to stop his behavior. I KNOW he is doing this because of the learning stage he is in right now. If I can patiently wait, he should grow out of his love of torture. But it doesn't help me to love him. Well....that's hard for a mother to say. I always love him. But I sure as heck don't want to be around him when he is clinging onto me and trying to poke his finger in my eyeball. And if I don't let him poke my eye out, he pulls my hair and bites me. Now that's what I call a lose-lose situation.

There are some things I never thought I would say. One of those is, "I can't wait until my kids are teenagers". And I haven't said that....yet. And I may never. Teenagers aren't cute. And no matter how destructive Bug may get, no matter how mangled I may get, it can take less than two seconds for my demon child to become the funniest and most adorable creation on earth.



Rachel Sue said...

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm kind of hanging out in the calm before the storm. And I'm not looking forward to the whole old enough to be a menace but too young to really understand discipline.

Good luck!

Terresa said...

Ahh, toddlers. You can't live with 'em and you can't chuck 'em out with the trash, although some moments you wish you could.

I find extreme joy in my toddler, as most likely he's our last kid. Every thing he does is encased in a glowing halo of "that's probably the last time we'll go through this & such" etc.

But still. Try and enjoy. And wear armor for protection -- that may help. ;)

Martha said...

Paybacks are...well, you know!
Hang in there, kid! (You too, Mally!) :)

Melinda said...

Oh man! My son is doing the exact same thing, and it is rough!! My girls were never this "mean", and really its so much more about curiosity and learning, like you said, but still, its not enjoyable! Lets just hope this phase goes by quickly yes?!

isabelle said...

I definitely understand... my little guy does some to much of the same, especially in the early stages of teething. He just seems to need to release energy and frustration some way... any way... and being "naughty" seems to be one of the ways he does it.

Most of the time, I try to model gentle... I help him stroke my hair instead of pulling it, and say "gentle"... but I've found that sometimes I have to be a bit firmer. If he hurts while I'm nursing, we're done nursing for a minute or so--then I tell him he can nurse again if he's gentle. When we both get too frustrated (it's hard being bitten the tenth time in a day when you've hardly slept the night before!), a brief time out sometimes helps us both regain our footing. Between everything (from cooing "gentle" to time-outs), things actually seem to have gotten better :-)

These little guys can be challenging, but I think we all grow so much from learning to behave with one another! Good luck!