Tuesday, April 14, 2009

IBS

I suffer from IBS.

No, not that IBS. I suffer from Inferior Blog Syndrome. It is a lot more common than you probably think. Symptoms include red eyes (from staring at the computer screen too much, trying to think of something great to blog about), back aches (from sitting at the computer too long, trying to think of something great to blog about), head aches (from trying to think of something great to blog about), the irrational fear that your blog isn't worth reading (whether this is legitimate or a delusion is to be determined on an individual basis), frequent writer's block (due to the irrational fear) and the constant desire that something great will happen that you can blog about, almost to desperation (may be made manifest in simple sayings, such as, "I'm gonna blog about that!" to nearly every life event). Et cetera, et cetera.

My condition is such that I spend most some of my days begging my son to do something worth blogging about. Something funny. Something not depressing. Something not very negative. Something that won't dissuade Future Mama from having a Future Kiddo. And for goodness sake, PLEASE, something that DOESN'T have to do with poop or pee and my carpet!!!

Yet, my condition persists. Bug continues to ruin diaper-free time by harassing my carpet with all matter of foulness. (Which often necessitates turning on the bath water AGAIN just seconds after I got him dried off from his previous washing.)

He just seems so vile sometimes. He looks at me with suspicious innocence then takes a hit from his water-filled sippy cup. It seems as if he is intentionally trying to worsen my condition.

And when Bug actually does something that I feel like I can get a really good story out of (with minimal exaggeration) he SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY keeps me from writing it as eloquently as I so desire. So that when I reread the post that is supposed to bring in readers from near and far, it seems sad and deflated. I'm usually left to hold down the backspace key, muttering to myself, "This story is stoooopid. Was that even funny when it happened?! Nobody will think this is funny other than me and my husband. Or just me. Gosh, if the whole world had just been there, then they would think it was hilarious. But then they wouldn't want to read about it my blog, because they have already seen it..." You get the point.

And that's why I'm not even going to try to tell you about the other night, when Bug climbed up and into the cart on his shopping cart walker toy and sat there, perched, looking at mom and dad with the look on his face that said all of the following: Look what I did. Wow, I'm really high up here. Am I allowed to be here? Even if I'm not, here I am, so HA! I bet I can climb onto the coffee table from here. Oh, mom's starting to get worried. I know I'm such a daredevil. Oh, now mom is ordering dad to get me down. No, you stay there, I'll get down myself. Crud, how do I get down myself? Relax, it's ok. I figured it out. Oooohhh yeah....I'm gonna do that again when you're not looking!!!

Ok, I guess I will tell you. I can only lament that the camera batteries were dead.

Darn that IBS!

9 comments:

Future Mama said...

I have that SAME disorder right now!! Yep.. IBS that's it! haha, thanks for diagnosing me!

I loved this post and I love all of your funny stories about your family! haha, and don't be afraid of scaring me away! Oprah already did that, ;op

Melinda said...

I have both kinds of IBS.... :D

Anyway, I totally know what you mean, I really want my blog to be super popular and adored by all, but man! THE PRESSURE! You're doing great, keep it up! :)

Mommy Bee said...

This indeed is the problem with having a topic-specific blog.
just wait for summer when you can put him naked in the backyard, and the pee stories will be nuthin, but you can tell some nice oh-my-gosh-how-did-i-ever-let-him-get-so-sunburned stories.

Another idea is to review books--in your case, parenting books. I read so many and I find that it's helpful to me to make some notes about them, and why not do it on my blog, you know? :)

Alternately, consider blogging about some baby/mommy products that you love/hate/want to try.

By the way, did you know you can win a bundle of sweet mommy/kiddo stuff over at mdcmoms.blogspot.com? You get extra entries for the giveaway if you blog about it... (scroll down a little, it's the april 1 post). There will be a second, more baby-oriented, giveaway starting on April 14 or 15, so keep your eyes out for that one.

You could also wax eloquent and go off on a 'please research' post or two, or give yourself a break by posting links to mommyish posts from other blogs (perhaps ones that were worthy of lamantations?!)


I go on brain-blanks too. Sometimes I have so many post ideas that I have posts scheduled more than a week in advance...and then sometimes I go a week with nothin...lately I've been slower because I'm morning sick and just don't feel like blogging so much...on the other hand, I've been posting almost daily for a little over a year, and maybe I just burned out, you know?! So let yourself have a little break, and soon enough you'll find inspiration coming back. :)

mormonmommyblogs said...

Everyone gets IBS... I get it regularly!

~motherboard

You've found the Howard! said...

I'm not much of a blogger... sorry. But I do love to read yours!!!

This one was awesome!

Rachel said...

I think we share this disorder. I can't tell you how excited I get when I come up with a good post, and then once it's all written, I just hate it. What is that all about?

Annie Valentine said...

"...so vile..." I couldn't have said it better myself. What a perfect word. I got my baby up from her nap today and she had removed her pants and diaper and peed all over the bed, then rolled around in it.

Vile.

Veronica Snapp said...

I love your blog!

Martha said...

Praise and stroking coming your way. You do great at this!